✨Nelie from the Block✨
HEY, WELCOME TO MY BLOG! HERE YOU'LL FIND A VARIETY OF POEMS & ENTRIES ALL CIRCLING AROUND THE EXPERIENCE & TRAUMA WOMEN OF COLOR ARE FACING DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & SEXUAL ASSAULT
HAPPILY EVER AFTER?
As a child, I used to always believe in that fairytale love we would see in movies like “Cinderella” or “The Princess & the Frog.” You know, you meet the perfect person, fall magically in love, & live happily ever after in that order, right? Now, although those are still attainable #RelationshipGoals, we must admit that in reality we have to kiss a few frogs before we find our Prince Charming & sometimes you might just end up with the sh*tty end of the stick before you actually see your “happily ever after.”
SH*TTY END OF THE STICK..
My belief in the “fairytale love” started to fade once I began dating the wrong men. The type of men who seemed so charming at first, treating me as if I was the only girl in the world although deep down I knew I wasn’t. I always felt that feeling of blissful happiness in the beginning until they began to get way too comfortable - so comfortable they felt as if they could be disrespectful, disgusting, & downright dirty towards me. I remember thinking to myself over & over again “How did I not notice this about [insert creep here] from the beginning?!” Well sis, you can’t see the red flags through rose colored lenses.
I thought the phase of meeting sh*tty men ended when I first met my ex husband. He was pleasant, quiet, straight to the point & honest. I liked that. There was no charm there, he was actually just really calm for the most part which was sort of different for me. We began to date exclusively then two years later we got hitched. (I know what you’re thinking!) I wish I can honestly say that my life as a newlywed was peachy but then I’d be lying. There was a cloud of regret raining over me almost instantly after I signed those papers but I tried to push through & get over the “post marital regret.” Over the course of that year, he began to get overly jealous, overprotective, & super insecure, consequently causing arguments after arguments & soon enough, the actual blows.
THE ACTUAL BLOWS..
I was in a really bad place; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, shit, even financially. I never thought my “husband” would put his hands on me (& repeatedly???) I never thought I would be getting into an actual physical altercation with the person I said “I do” to. Is this what they meant by “for better or for worse?” What would Jesus do? Turn the other cheek or turn him in? My spirit was broken. I fell through a depression, I had anxiety, I just wanted to give up. All the fighting & arguing was not something my spirit could keep up with because it was wearing me down. How do I tell my family whats going on? Do I even tell them? I can’t. What am I supposed to do the next time he put his hands on me? I had enough so I called the cops.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
There was a point when I started to believe that I was somewhat “asking” to be a target for abusive men. I was curious to know what it was about me that attracted these predators. It wasn’t until I completely devoted my life to my spirituality that I became more enlightened & in tune with myself. I developed this understanding of who I truly was & was following my path to who I would eventually become. As I stroll down this path of wisdom and consistent growth, I then learned that I was not alone; there are many other women out there who are just like me. There are many women out there who have gone (and is still going) through the trauma that I went through & trust me when I say it is not YOU! You are not asking to be mistreated in any way! You don’t deserve to be in this situation & there is most definitely a way out even if it seems as if all odds are against you!
THE WAY OUT..
Since my last exhausting relationship (the marriage,) I’ve been working on S’nel Cosmetics, the development of my organization, & this blog in hopes of reaching out to women like me all over the world. It’s unfortunate to know there are women and children who do not make it out alive in these situations & knowing this makes me want to reach out to you all before it’s too late. I am working on creating a space and/or platform for you all to come together for the support & confidence you don’t think you can find anywhere else.
Sometimes colored women who go through domestic violence and sexual assault feel as if there aren’t enough resources available for them & have nowhere to go because of the color of their skin. Theres a sense of disapproval & denial that weighs over them which can prevent them from seeking help. This is why this forum is here; so we can have an outlet for you to just let it all out & hopefully get the help you need. Im here for you sis, & if nobody has your back, I WILL!